I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run arou Emo Philips Quotes
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I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks.

Emo Philips

Emo Philips (February 7, 1956) is an American comedian. Much of his stand-up comedy makes use of paraprosdokians spoken in a wandering falsetto tone of voice. The confused, childlike delivery of his material produces the intended comic timing in a manner invoking the 'wisdom of children' or the idiot savant.

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Latest from Emo Philips

You know what I hate? Indian givers... no I take that back.
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky but there's never any gum under any of
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

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