I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. Steven Wright Quotes
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I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Steven Wright

Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsense jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations.

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Latest from Steven Wright

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light and you turn on the headlights do

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    My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you
    In the first place God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
    A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

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