I was at this casino minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said "You're gonna have Mitch Hedberg Quotes
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I was at this casino minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said "You're gonna have to move you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs you are never blocking a fire exit.

Mitch Hedberg

Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 30, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs.

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Latest from Mitch Hedberg

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

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