Woody Allen

Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen (born Allan Stewart Konigsberg; December 1, 1935) is an American director, writer, actor, comedian, playwright, and musician whose career spans more than six decades. Allen won four Academy Awards: three for Best Original Screenplay and one for Best Director (Annie Hall). He also won nine British Academy of Film and Television Arts Awards.

Enjoy the best Woody Allen picture quotes.

Read more about Woody Allen on Wikipedia.

It's all right Kate I understand...

A lion and a lamb can lay toghether but the lamb will get little sleep.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night for instance I was mugged by a quaker.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Basically, my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

Money is better than poverty if only for financial reasons.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately it's the government.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

Some actors like the total freedom Woody gives them but I like to have some parameters some structure.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

All people know the same truth, our lives consist of how we choose to distort them

If my soul exists without my body I am convinced all my clothes will be loose-fitting

Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.

Early in life I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety

My brain? That

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

I like the film and that's rare for me to say because I make films and I am almost invariably disappointed. When I saw ('Match Point') I said 'My God it came out.' It surprised me. . . . So I am enjoying the experience because it happens so rarely for me.

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

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