Woody Allen

Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen (born Allan Stewart Konigsberg; December 1, 1935) is an American director, writer, actor, comedian, playwright, and musician whose career spans more than six decades. Allen won four Academy Awards: three for Best Original Screenplay and one for Best Director (Annie Hall). He also won nine British Academy of Film and Television Arts Awards.

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Read more about Woody Allen on Wikipedia.

I learned a few things on my own since and modified some of the things he taught me but everything unequivocally that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather on his deathbed sold me this watch.

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.

All the crap that they tell you about ... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years -- it's all tripe ... I've gained no wisdom no insight no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again today.

The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

If it turns out that there is a God I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

Man consists of two parts his mind and his body only the body has more fun.

The higher the school rating the better off we are in having perspective projects look at our area

Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion ' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller an idol of my childhood in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action.

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

believe it when I see it.

The Colgate Comedy Hour.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland not unlike certain parts of New jersey.

To you I'm an atheist, to God I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Some guy hit my fender and I told him 'Be fruitful and multiply ' but not in those words.

I am very attached to this watch. My grandfather sold it to me when he was dying.

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

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