Woody Allen

Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen (born Allan Stewart Konigsberg; December 1, 1935) is an American director, writer, actor, comedian, playwright, and musician whose career spans more than six decades. Allen won four Academy Awards: three for Best Original Screenplay and one for Best Director (Annie Hall). He also won nine British Academy of Film and Television Arts Awards.

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Read more about Woody Allen on Wikipedia.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

I'd call him a sadistic hippophilic necrophile but that would be beating a dead horse.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

In California they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.

Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Probably in retrospect I should have bowed out of that relationship (with Farrow) much earlier than I did.

The only way to be happy is to love to suffer.

Nietzsche says that we will live the same life over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.

Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name

one of the truly lucky things that happened to me in my life.

Not only is there no God but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

I've gained no insight no mellowing. I would make the same mistakes again.


I don't wanna live in a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

On the plus side death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

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