Woody Allen

Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen (born Allan Stewart Konigsberg; December 1, 1935) is an American director, writer, actor, comedian, playwright, and musician whose career spans more than six decades. Allen won four Academy Awards: three for Best Original Screenplay and one for Best Director (Annie Hall). He also won nine British Academy of Film and Television Arts Awards.

Enjoy the best Woody Allen picture quotes.

Read more about Woody Allen on Wikipedia.

We stand today at a crossroads: One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other leads to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to make the right choice.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam, I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

When I was kidnapped my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Life doesn't imitate art it imitates bad television.

Of all the wonders of nature a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable, with the possible exception of a moose singing ''Embraceable You'' in spats.

In my house I'm the boss my wife is just the decision maker.

I never think I feel cynical in general. Cynical is reality with an alternate spelling. I feel there's a gigantic amount of injustice and overt crime every day in the world from emotional crimes to international crimes and it often carries rewards.

We were married by a reformed rabi in Long Island. A very reformed rabi a Nazi.

Hannah and Her Sisters.

It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.

I'm going to give my psychoanalyst one more year then I'm going to Lourdes

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

I am at two with nature

I don't respond well to mellow you know what I mean I-I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow I-I ripen and then rot.

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.

Life is full of misery loneliness and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

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