Woody Allen

Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen (born Allan Stewart Konigsberg; December 1, 1935) is an American director, writer, actor, comedian, playwright, and musician whose career spans more than six decades. Allen won four Academy Awards: three for Best Original Screenplay and one for Best Director (Annie Hall). He also won nine British Academy of Film and Television Arts Awards.

Enjoy the best Woody Allen picture quotes.

Read more about Woody Allen on Wikipedia.

Psychoanalyses is like music lessons for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

I do not believe in an afterlife although I am bringing a change of underwear

Why are our days numbered and not say lettered?

I let the cast improvise a lot especially with the slang where they would say 'g and t' for gin and tonic. I wouldn't say that. I would say 'dicey' when they would say 'dodgy.' I learnt a lot.

I think any boycott is wrong ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

My family members are here with me because they're afraid to stay at home. There is no excuse for it. This is just uncalled for. It goes beyond courtesy. It's protection of life.

Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words

Recently there has been a lot of controversy between the countries and I would hope that now the two countries could put all that behind them and start to build on what really has been a great friendship

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case I definitely overpaid for my carpet

He was so depressed he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.


To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

Eighty percent of success is just showing up

I feel that life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable

The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.

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