P. J. O'Rourke

P. J. O'Rourke

Patrick Jake O'Rourke (born November 14, 1947), known as P.J. O'Rourke, is an American political satirist and journalist. O'Rourke is the H. L. Mencken Research Fellow at the libertarian Cato Institute and is a regular correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly, The American Spectator, and The Weekly Standard. Since 2011 he has been a columnist at The Daily Beast.

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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

Who other than a crazy person does anything besides hang up on a robo-call? Any call, any person, anywhere, under any circumstances.

Because of their size parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Never be unfaithful to a lover except with your wife.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are like God's infinite mercy a last resort.

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans.

Ideology politics and journalism which luxuriate in failure are impotent in the face of hope and joy.

I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements.

The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can't do shouldn't do had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known.

Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present.

The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen.

It's better to make fun of yourself because you've always got someone around to make fun of and they can't sue you.

Something is worth what somebody will pay for it. Nothing else nothing more nothing less.

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents worried five of them to death impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails we hold an election and assassinate their character.

The weirder you're going to behave the more normal you should look. It works in reverse too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.

There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that to me resembles the way young men behave when there is no significant influence from women in their lives.

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