George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, actor, author and social critic. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians.
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One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people
By and large language is a tool for concealing the truth
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young you get a gold watch you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs alcohol you party you get ready for high school. You go to grade school you become a kid you play you have no responsibilities you become a little baby you go back into the womb you spend your last nine months floating... ...and you finish off as an orgasm.