George Carlin

George Carlin

George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, actor, author and social critic. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians.

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Read more about George Carlin on Wikipedia.

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full free democratic election

If the Reds were baseball's first team who did they play?

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies insecticided grain For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America America man sheds his waste on thee And hides the pines with billboard signs from sea to oily sea.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

I have no emotional stake in Panda fucking.

Rich White Men Don't Care About Poor Black People

[He appreciated its] compounded vulgarity ... It had that Peter Finch in 'Network ' 'I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore' quality.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Most people are not particularly good at anything

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans

Think about it

Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas take your next trip in kilometers.

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

A blank slate -- and you get to play.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

When cheese gets it's picture taken what does it say?

A lot of times when a package says Open Other End I purposely open the end where it says that

You get to play with people's little danger zones.

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with

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